"DEAD STARS"

Some loves, though initially intense, can fade away, just like distant stars. They can continue to linger in your memory, just like the light of a dead star reaching the Earth just like the light of a dead star. Finally, I'm back on the literature train. There's this short story, "Dead Stars" by Paz Marquez-Benitez. I never paid attention to it in high school, possibly because it was forced, but now it's all I can think about. Dead Stars, when you think about it, it looks like the perfect piece to turn into a movie. Recently, I've been taking keen interest on 1990s and earlier Filipino movies -- not just because of the linguistic value of how Filipino (Tagalog) is so well-pronounced and well-articulated. Think of it as the transatlantic accent-- but in Tagalog. Dead Stars is a tale about love, disillusionment, and societal expectations. This guy was engaged to somebody, and then had a thing for another woman, and years later, he encountered the other woman again after having already been married, only to realize that he didn't feel anything for her anymore. -- only for him to have realized that his love for the other woman wasn't what he thought it really was. Apparently, not all romantic ideals align with reality. Dead Stars hits close to where my heart is (or should be), but not in a way that you'd think. The story's main character came to a point wherein he'd practically wished that his long-term engagment would have just unraveled so that he could be with the other woman--- but in the end, went through with his engagment, definitely not regretting it later. I wonder though, what could have been his thought process? I know that the story is a work of fiction, but let's not discount the possiblity of similar things happening. I think that's where societal expectations kick in-- in those days, broken engagements could have meant scandal. The main character of Dead Stars chose societal obligations, and came out fulfilled in the end-- but what about us who chose the fire burning passion? What if we had really chosen the star that might have already been dead a long time ago, and we're only sticking to it because it's what's feels familiar. What if I've been basking in the light of a dead star for far too long? Again, it's not in the way that you'd think.